i have my younger friends to thank: from them i learn many things. i learn independence n dependence from them - and age is just a number
their independence is - wow. They are sharp, decisive and confident in making their decisions that i often find myself taking back-steps, being fazed and unsure as to how to react and what to do. i realised that what and how was done to me before cannot be done 100% to them - they have their own thoughts, ways of thinkings, their own expressions, their own frustrations, their own joys, their own circle, different, diverse but hanging out as one group among friends, accepting the other with not much barrier - just having a good time, that's all. Most of all they are strong, able to "detach" - and i find myself almost a lifetime wondering what are they doing now?
their independence have also taught me it's not about being sticky all the time that makes u a friend - it's doing your own stuffs that creates your own independence
and it's not about being "at the top" to be this n that just because i'm the older one..if i dare say - i'm really blessed to be hugely dependent: my fall and my weakness. My friends carried my bag, waited patiently for me at their spots even they were about 5 and more meters away from me: i was inspired to push on to be where they are despite myself - it's all about moving on, something which i'd just reflected. They remembered i was hungry and my oats snack - not telling where it is but it's to thank mou hitori no boku (please..dun borther about the yami part, cos we know in real life no soul nor anyone belongs to the darkness ya! XD) who went all the way despite himself to see me through, allowing me to finally - after a long period of trudging on in a sea of unstable emotions by myself without almost anyone to reach out - LEAN on..tears in my eyes now bcos i'm touched as i was physically and emotionally drained out from the physical and emotional pain and the hurts that had happened recently
their confidence - the way they speak, what they want, their decisiveness although it to any third-party observer that they are are not cos the third-party observer is not in the group - inspires me to try even more to find the confidence within myself
it's really pressurising being the oldest but they accept me for who i am and i was able to share myself, my interests and what i like to them. And i was brought into another world, so comfortable that i'm tempted to shut out and stay in this world - but that's so wrong = chau chau chat TTE (wrong wrong wrong i say)!
have to work on my Kansai-ben..think Lay Peng just sneezed..XD!!!!!
in my weakness they lift me up
in my weakness they turn my sorrows to laughter and being "in the group"
in my weakness i was taught to detach myself from being dependent still yet being able to be dependent
(shoutout to buchou: drawing zeros)
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