yep, you wanna say something, in fact you wanna say a lotta things
for ten over years - trying, n trying, n trying..all these tears of frustration, care, yelling - yet NOTHING HAS CHANGED..why?
unware, lazy, over-dependent, stubborn, over-conscious and scared of what people will say and disagree, wrong decisions made, no self-motivation
最低だ
no way can one lead like this
new HTC One released!!! love its features!!! FRONT SPEAKERS!!! but..is it removable battery? i would prefer that..anyway, good that a new HTC product is released, i can afford the older model when their prices drop
Clever, released just when many people get their Chinese New Year red packet money!
c'mon Apple, beat that! forget about releasing 5S, just release iPhone 6 at the end of the year cos improvement-wise u'll be in a dilemma
one does not shut oneself from the whole world but laments - every single nanosecond - to the world that one is so pitiful and/or builds up excuses to run away from the wrong, doesn't feel remorse, doesn't humble oneself n shut up when the result of doing so has caused another person to suffer painfully for a lifetime
Read more...hard to believe that yesterday was 31 Dec..
so everyone's doing their retrospecs, reflecting what they've done, what they should've done, events, etc.
i'm no exception!
in a nutshell, last year has been a shocking year for me. The shocks came more intense as year's end was approaching: rude shocks, sad shocks, angry shocks..
i'm thinking this as i type this blog entry: how can one really 'start anew' when last year's problems, situations, deadlines continues on to the new year - like me?
it's going to be a difficult year for me..i duno..perhaps it's time to take more steps back to be open to more options and different perspectives in my life
gone haywire ever since i lost my job that i thought i was enjoying myself with = dignity lost
have been trying too hard to justify myself in keeping myself occupied, jealousy grows hearing my mum's "day at work" every single day. No sympathy, no empathy given because it has always been, "Listen to me," in the family, let alone the nuclear family
i feel that i have no tongue, no voice. i feel like i'm just seeing pictures of people moving their mouths. And if i make just a little effort to listen - i get hurt bcos i don't feel belonged
i hate it when there's nothing but just being safe aka, "Don't you dare tell me to change because - #%!# you - i'm not because i expect you to change."
i'm on medication now, thanks to their selfishness
i'm in tears now, thanks to their ignorance
honestly i just want to get out and perhaps drink myself a little over tipsy
but i wonder why i'm not moving
perhaps being oblivious at home could be the best coping mechanism at home for now
why is it everytime i thought i could stay in a job i can't? thought it's a job i enjoy but so much nonsense came in the way, i still push on..but in the end, still..
is this meant to be?
it has come to a point that i'm tired, i just want to hide at home and do what i want to do for a long, long time. And i dun give a * about what i cannot handle at home. i just have to push on about what i want to do
i totally give up..world, i've done what i'm told to do. this time, i'll just shut you out from me, do what i want to do..i simply do not care anymore
© Free Blogger Templates Skyblue by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008
Back to TOP
